The wheels of the bus go round and round...

Real Estate is a business like any other, but it hits 'closer to home' than most because it's all about HOME!

I have to walk a line between business and personal relationships, as do my clients. Many are long-time friends who know me well enough to accept what I say as truth. They know that if I'm not familiar with something or don't know the answer to the question, I'll say so. And they also know that I've spent countless hours being educated in this profession and thoroughly research the subjects I talk about. So it's always a shock when one of those 'inner-circle' clients just throws me under the bus.

I am trying my best to help everyone, whether personal friend or not, to find their way through the quagmire in this real estate market. It isn't easy telling a client and/or friend that they can't afford a particular property they have their heart set on or that their current home can't sell at high enough a price to even cover the current mortgage. It is all personal stuff. But they can't take it personally.

One of my dearest friends and former client had a meltdown last week over the size of the offers we received on her vacant home that's been listed for sale on and off for nearly 2 years. She was flabbergasted that the market value of her home had decreased before her very eyes and that the appraisal from 30 days ago for a sale that fell apart won't hold up now.

After several lively discussions over a weeks time, she sent an email , stating that she has decided not to sell, wanted the home taken off the market and removed from MLS. She offered to pay for the advertising we have done thus far, knowing that is part of any early withdrawal obligation. At that point I hadn't decided to pass on those fees and needed to speak to my broker to determine if he wanted his share of the costs generated by our extensive print and Internet advertising.

Imagine my surprise when I went to the property to remove my sign and lockbox...there was a 2nd sign in the yard from another real estate firm, announcing the home's availability for rent!

I could feel those bus wheels crunching.

I'm still shocked and saddened that she could do such a thing...heck, she didn't even give me the chance to find the tenant and recoup some costs through a commission. She just phoned someone else...as though I hadn't done my job and wasn't capable of renting her home since I couldn't sell it at a price that pleased her. Yes, I took it personally.

Both she and I were then at an emotional high point. Business and personal were so finely entwined that I couldn't see a way to separate them for nearly 12 hrs.And that bus kept rolling over me every other minute.

After a night of restless sleep I was able to become calmer and just 'let it be'. I wrote to her that I'd removed my lockbox and sign and mentioned that the home's AC wasn't functioning when I entered the property. Then I alerted another agent who had looked at the home for herself as to it's rental potential. And I gave her the owner's contact information so they could deal directly. That would save the owner a commission. After all, money is bus fuel, and I just wanted to stop that bus.

I haven't yet figured out the amount we've spent marketing this home, but it's substantial and way more than she will want to pay to make up for running me over. I'd been keeping the listing all this time because she was a friend and I've spent way too much on it's marketing to make the arrangement profitable, even if we had completed a sale.

So clearly, I hadn't been unemotional, as I preach to others. If I had been, I wouldn't have renewed the listing so many times. I just didn't want to toss her into traffic.

Each time I've found myself under a bus, I've wondered where the problem lies. And now I know it's with me. Learning not to take it personally isn't easy for anyone on any level.

Friendship and Real Estate

This entry has very little to do with the real estate market and everything to do with Friendship. Long term or short...real friendships are necessary for nurturing the soul.

I just got to spend nearly 6 days with a woman I've known for more nearly 40 years. We were young then, she younger than I, and idealistic to the max. We weathered the storms in both of our lives, the losses of her parents, my marriage, our innocence. We've triumphed with moves to distant climes, new relationships, jobs, marriages, and family stresses. And we're still friends...silly girls giggling at side jokes, sharing the old memories and telling tales, making new ones.

Like any good friend, I'd love to have all my closest friends living right near-by. so naturally during her visit I did show her a house or two that might work if retirement to Florida was at all appealing to her or her totally agreeable husband. I'm planting the seed...buy a home in Florida now while the prices are lower so you'll have your stake in the sun when the time comes. And it's working...they're discussing the ins and outs of buying when they have 6 years to go. Rental? Vacation? Chuck it all now and just have fun in the sun? I'm crossing my fingers that one of these discussions yields a "let's go for it". I've already gotten the 'compound' started, when one friend retired from Miami to Vero in June. I hope to 'import' more!

So, in honor of friendship, and having nothing to do with real estate whatsoever, here is the email I received today from yet another old friend on How to Stay Young...

1. Try everything twice.

On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:

"Tried everything twice.loved it both times!"


2. Keep only cheerful friends.

The grouches pull you down.

(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)


3. Keep learning:

Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.

Never let the brain get idle.

'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'

And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!


4. Enjoy the simple things.


5. Laugh often, long and loud.

Laugh until you gasp for breath.

And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.


6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on.

The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.

LIVE while you are alive.


7. Surround yourself with what you love:

Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

Your home is your refuge.


8. Cherish your health:

If it is good, preserve it.

If it is unstable, improve it.

If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.


9. Don't take guilt trips.

Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country,

but NOT to where the guilt is.


10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity...

and then say it over again.